I walked into my senior partner’s office convinced I had leverage. I tossed my latest commission statements on his desk—$100,000 in revenue that month from just one client. “I’ve earned a raise,” I said.

He laughed. Not with me. At me.

“You’re at Bear Stearns because of me,” he said. “You wouldn’t have closed that client without my help. You’re not getting a raise.”

I left that office angry. Not disappointed—angry. And that anger turned into rationalization. I convinced myself I deserved more. That I was being wronged. That I had earned it. And in that mental space, it became easy to cross a line.

The Glitch I Exploited
About a week later, I found a flaw in our accounting system. It wasn’t complicated. If someone called about a past transaction, the commission—usually around $5,000—would come through again. Normally, I was owed 25%. But now I could redirect the full 100% to myself, and nobody would notice.

I didn’t steal from strangers. I stole from the person I blamed for holding me back. That was my justification.

It’s easy to justify theft when it doesn’t feel like theft—when it feels like retribution.

What Came Next
Once I crossed that line, everything else started to slip. I stopped paying attention to clients. I neglected my health. I got sloppy. And eventually, I found myself standing for count in a federal prison camp.

That’s the part I didn’t think through. That’s the part nobody thinks through. I didn’t just steal money. I handed prosecutors an easy win. I handed the sentencing judge a reason not to believe anything I said about responsibility or remorse.

What Judges and Probation Officers Actually See
Most people under investigation think the story ends once they explain what happened. That if they can justify their actions, the judge or probation officer will understand.

They won’t.

They don’t care if your partner was unfair. They don’t care if you thought you earned it. They don’t even care if you regret it now. What they’re looking for is this:

• When did you stop rationalizing?
  
• What have you done since to show you understand the impact?
  
• Can you prove it won’t happen again?
  

At sentencing, your words carry no weight if they aren’t backed by action. And the most damaging thing you can bring into that courtroom is a story filled with excuses.

The Cost of Arrogance
Looking back, I didn’t get into trouble because I made a mistake. I got into trouble because I was arrogant enough to think I could bend the rules and not get caught. I thought I was smarter than the system. I thought I was owed something.

The arrogance didn’t just cost me a job or a reputation. It cost me my credibility. And once that’s gone, everything gets harder—your sentencing, your prison designation, your shot at early release.

You Can’t Hide Behind Excuses
If you’re reading this and you’re under investigation, or you’ve already pled guilty, you’re probably thinking about how to explain yourself. That’s fine. But if that explanation is built on excuses, you’re wasting time.

Judges and probation officers don’t want a victim narrative. They want proof. They want receipts. That means writing about your actions, not just your intentions. That means showing how you’ve made restitution, how you’re contributing, how you’re preparing for what’s next—not just saying you will.

Start With One Step: Own the Decision
The turning point in your case won’t be when you find the right lawyer, or when the PSI interview goes well. It starts when you stop justifying the behavior and start owning it.

That’s the first thing I wish someone had told me. Not in abstract terms. Not as a pep talk. Just a simple truth:

If your story still revolves around how someone else caused your downfall, you’re not ready.

One Question to Ask Yourself
If your judge read your explanation right now—would they see someone taking responsibility, or someone shifting blame?

If you’re not sure, you have work to do.

Join our free weekly webinar every Tuesday at 11AM Pacific / 2PM Eastern. We talk openly with people who’ve been through this—former defendants, prosecutors, and FBI agents. You’ll get a clearer view of what matters, and how to prove you’re ready to be taken seriously. If you prefer, you can also schedule a one-on-one call. Either way, start building something that shows you belong on the right side of the sentencing memo.