I’m writing this from Dana Point, California, where I just celebrated the 50th birthday of my friend and former client, Matthew Boyer. You may know that name—he’s the bookmaker connected to the Shohei Ohtani investigation. What you don’t know is the lesson he’s teaching all of us, just by how he’s living.
Matt pled guilty. He didn’t try to spin it. Didn’t dodge. He owned it. But what stood out most to me wasn’t the plea—it was how he answered a simple question I always ask:
“What does success look like for you?”
His response was immediate:
“I did it. I’m married with five kids. I want to lead. I want to set an example.”
And he meant it. That mindset—the one he chose before sentencing—is the best advice I can give anyone watching this, especially if you’re waiting to be sentenced or still stuck in the fear spiral that follows an indictment.
Stop Living Like You’re Already Locked Up
I’ve spoken with thousands of people facing federal charges. Here’s what happens too often: the indictment comes, and they check out of life.
They stop showing up for family dinners. They isolate. They stop working out, stop creating, stop dreaming. They live in a kind of suspended animation—waiting to be sentenced, waiting to go to prison, and convincing themselves there’s no point in doing anything until “it’s all over.”
I get it. I did the same thing. For three and a half years before I was sentenced, I lived like I was already locked up.
And I regret it.
I missed weddings, turned down chances to speak with my family, said no to invitations I should have said yes to. I thought I was being “serious” by focusing on the case. In reality, I was just stuck. Paralyzed. Existing in fear.
Matthew Boyer Made a Different Choice
Matt didn’t do that. Despite the media attention, despite the case hanging over him, he kept showing up for life.
He stayed connected to his kids. He supported his wife. He kept building a record of living—of leading—before the court told him what to do.
He didn’t wait for sentencing to recalibrate. He got busy proving who he was through consistent action, not words.
Let me be clear: he may still go to prison. There’s no guarantee. But he’s not serving time before he has to. He’s not surrendering his life to fear.
And that’s what sets him apart.
What It Looks Like to Lead—Even Now
If you’re watching this and you’re under investigation, or your sentencing is coming up, this is your moment to lead.
You don’t need to launch a nonprofit or write a book. Leading can look like:
- Waking up early and making breakfast for your family
- Scheduling regular walks with your spouse
- Getting consistent with exercise again
- Being present—really present—with your kids
- Owning what you did without dragging your family into guilt or shame
These aren’t small things. They’re everything. Because your family is watching. So is the court.
And when you show you’re still living, still connected, still working to improve—not out of panic but because it’s the right thing to do—it changes how people see you. Including the judge.
Don’t Repeat My Mistake
I spent three and a half years frozen before sentencing. Matt didn’t. I wish I had someone telling me back then, “You’re not in prison yet. Stop acting like it.”
So now I’m telling you.
Don’t just prepare for a sentencing memo. Prepare for a life that your kids can still be proud of. Use the time you have now to live—not hide.
Be like Matt. Lead. Create. Recalibrate. Your family doesn’t need a perfect version of you. They need a present one.
Justin Paperny
P. S. If this resonates, join our team this Monday at 1 p.m. Pacific, 4 p.m. Eastern. We host a free webinar to answer questions, share lessons from real cases, and help you avoid the most costly mistakes people make during a government investigation. Bring questions. Come ready to learn.
