Nine Months Home From Federal Prison, His Wife Said Life Was Easier Without Him

Just get him home.

That is what she said every time we spoke. Her husband was serving several years on the inside for a white collar crime, and every call came back to that sentence. Just get him home.

Before he went to prison it was difficult. He blamed the court. He blamed the lawyers. He blamed his judge. He blamed the co-defendant who cooperated against him. It was never his fault, and through it all she would say, just get him home.

Then he went to prison and the problems continued. He didn't like his bunkie. He didn't like the food, the commissary, his job.

He would call home and lament. Why am I here? Why am I in a minimum security camp with no fences or barbed wire? I could walk off at any time. I owe money. I should be working in the community paying restitution.

And through it all she would say, just get him home.

Then he came home and the complaining continued. He didn't like his probation officer. They didn't approve his work. They wanted too much money on restitution. He didn't like the way that she was parenting the children. He didn't like the dinner she cooked.

Which led me to ask him: if having your freedom and your family doesn't make you any happier, was prison really the problem?

After about nine months, she very quietly said to him, my life was much easier when you were in prison.

Look at the list

Before prison: the court, the lawyers, the judge, the co-defendant.

Inside: the bunkie, the food, the commissary, the job.

Home: the probation officer, the work approval, the restitution number, his wife's parenting, her cooking.

The cast changed three times. The posture did not. He walked out of a federal prison camp and kept doing the same thing he was doing before he walked in, only now the people on the receiving end were the ones who waited for him.

That is what I was asking him about. Not whether his complaints had merit. Whether he had noticed that the complaining outlived the sentence.

Some of it had an argument buried in it

Take the one he made from the camp. He owed money. He was at a minimum security camp with no fence. He said he should be working in the community and paying restitution.

There is a real argument in there. He made it as a complaint on a phone call to his wife, who could do nothing with it.

Same thing at home. "They want too much money on restitution" is a complaint. It is not a request, it has no documents behind it, and the person hearing it at the dinner table has no authority to change it.

Turn the complaint into a request

If something in your supervision is wrong, a documented request moves it further than a complaint. In my experience, that means three things.

Write the specific ask. Not "they want too much." The number in your judgment, what you earn now, what you can pay, and what changed.

Bring it to the person with authority, in writing. Your probation officer first, with your lawyer in the loop. Pay stubs, bank records, the job offer that got denied.

Know what the law allows before you ask. On restitution, 18 U.S.C. § 3664(k) requires you to notify the court and the Attorney General of any material change in your economic circumstances that affects your ability to pay, and the court may then adjust the payment schedule. On conditions of supervision, including employment restrictions, 18 U.S.C. § 3583(e)(2) lets the court modify, reduce, or enlarge conditions at any time before the term ends.

Whether a judge grants any of it depends on your case, your district, your judgment, and the record you bring. This is general information, not legal advice. Ask your lawyer before you file anything.

What she asked for

She asked for one thing for years. She got it. Nine months later she told him what it had been like.

If you are home and the list is still running, start there. Write the complaint down, then write the ask under it, then take the ask to the person who can act on it. Your wife cannot approve your employment or change your payment schedule. Your probation officer and the court can.

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