My Son Asked If I Was Happy I Went to Prison

I always wanted to be a father. I never imagined that as a father my young son would say to me, dad, are you happy you went to prison?

I said, why would you ask that?

He said, well, it seems like it was kind of fun.

I said, son, I'm not happy that I went to prison. I don't want you to go to prison.

Why it sounded fun to him

He was listening to me. I speak about prison favorably because I learned so many valuable lessons there. I served 18 months at Taft beginning in April 2008. I met Michael Santos there. I wrote my first blog by hand on October 12, 2008, and I have written every day since. Those are the stories my kids hear.

He does not hear much about the 3.5 years I spent waiting, hiding, and hoping the case would go away before I was sentenced, or about standing for count. He heard the lessons and figured the place must have been fine.

A small little lesson in the Denver airport

Here is one of the stories he has heard.

I had a great trip in Billings, Montana. I'm flying home. Unfortunately, there's terrible weather in Denver. I'm delayed two hours. Just delayed. Then I learn it's going to be delayed another two hours.

You find perspective when you go to prison. You don't complain. Instead, I find the positive. I'm going to sit here alone and listen to a Jim Rohn audiobook. I'm not standing for count. I'm not doing a fire drill at 2 a.m.

I'm grateful. I have perspective.

I'm certainly not glad I went

When I speak about prison or share those details with my son, it's not to glorify it. I'm certainly not glad I went. It's to talk about the perspective that I found.

There is a risk in how I talk about this, and my son is the one who caught it. If the only stories I tell are about what I learned, a kid can end up thinking the whole thing was worth it. I don't want my children to think that.

What I do when my kids ask

A few things I try to get right, in case your children are asking you the same question:

1. Answer the question they asked.
2. Say the hard part first. I'm not happy I went.
3. Give them something specific, like standing for count or the fire drill at 2 a.m.
4. Tell them what it cost me, too.

Mine asked, and a vague answer would have left him thinking prison sounded kind of fun.

If you go through this experience, I hope you too find that perspective.

Watch the short: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/R0fvM6Xsiog