What would happen if one of the flying monkeys from the Wizard Of Oz had his efforts at Unionization thwarted and decided to rebel by choosing a new career path?

This isn’t that story but it’s good nonetheless. Like many of you I ran afoul of the law. This was done because of my orchestration of an illegal payment scheme for illegally prescribing prescription drugs. Then in an additional fantastic flash of stupidity I lied by omission to agents of the FBI, IRS, DOJ and multiple prosecutors. Without getting into specifics but wanting to be truthful this was no little white lie. Think something more akin to hiding a dead Elephant in a studio apartment by placing a throw rug on top of it.

All of us know what got us here. It was more than mere colossal blunders. My company was growing just as fast as my shortsighted and greedy tendencies. I was doubling down on my lack of morals quicker than a Gamblers Anonymous degenerate in Vegas. Envy and greed were the driving force in my life. My internal dialog was consumed with thoughts of how do I get MORE. If I had explained any of that, and shown the tiniest semblance of remorse during my first meeting with investigators I am sure I would have walked away not only with some of their respect but also a lighter federal prison sentence. My actions might also take me from serving time in a fedearal prison camp to a low security prison.

During this debacle leading up to my sentencing I have reflected on the single most important thing I could have done differently. I analyzed each and every bad decision. Not the crimes themselves but the events since that could have had the most positive impact if I had acted differently. This is the conclusion I reached. Hiring Justin as my prison consultant was a good step. We are still working to undue the bad decisions I made before hiring him.

Don’t make a bad situation worse. If you have not been sentenced yet and there are land mines in your past that you have been fortunate enough not to step on yet, come clean. Federal investigators have resources that Stalin would have been envious of. They will find out. You can easily with a few lies or omissions end up with new federal charges far exceeding your original crime.

Anonymous Felon

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Justin Paperny is the cofounder of White Collar Advice (@whitecollaradviceofficial), a Calabasas company that well-heeled convicts facing prison hire to help them deal with the experience. His past clients reportedly include Martha Stewart and Bernie Madoff. “Let Us Take The Confusion and Headache Out Of Preparing For Sentencing, Prison and Probation,” the company’s website cheerily states. Paperny, whose fees can run into the six figures, says he’s already been hired by one person caught up in the college admissions scandal and been contacted by a half dozen others. Visit the link in bio for more information and advice (or maybe this only applies to Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman). ⠀⠀

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What Happens When You Lie To The FBI, IRS & DOJ? I’ll Tell You
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Last Day In Federal Prison Camp

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