Never in my life did I contemplate or imagine myself as a criminal. I could not imagine myself spending time incarcerated, in a box, or a prison setting. Listening to Mike Berlon’s story reminded me of the trauma I faced when I discovered the reality of being charged with a federal crime and facing the American justice system.
I was working as a film producer in Hollywood. The culmination of twenty years of constant networking, study, hard work expanding both emotional and physical sweat. Making a motion picture was only the first step in my dream to establish a successful film production and distribution enterprise. When the FBI came knocking at my door at dawn that day, I felt shocked. I couldn’t believe that authorities would charge me with a crime. I was unprepared for the consequences, and unprepared for the hardships and stress the accusation would impose upon my life and my family.
Mike Berlon lays out the dilemma the average hard-working professional experiences when Johnny Law interrupts idyllic pursuits. Like many people charged with white-collar crimes, stress consumed my life. Responsibilities from work and family pulled me in all directions. Raising money to make the business success along with finding ways to convert those endeavors into personal income filled every waking hour of my day. Sometimes, those challenges became the horrors of my somnambulant dreams.
At the time of my arrest, I didn’t have the knowledge or understanding necessary to help me cope with the events overtaking my life and routine. Like Mike Berlon, I had a law degree and practiced as a licensed attorney. Yet I didn’t have any experience with the criminal side of the law.
I felt outraged to be in the predicament. In my view, I wanted to believe that others bore responsibility for the crimes that led to my arrest. I wanted to blame the salesmen in the boiler-room operation that prompted the investigation and criminal accusation. I blamed my former partner for his malfeasance. And I especially blamed the Federal Prosecutor, the USAG, and all those who dared to bring those charges against me.
None of those perceptions would lead to the results I wanted or desired. As Mike explains in his video interview, I rationalized all the actions leading to the consequences resulting in my indictment and arrest.
I saw myself differently from the way that authorities saw me. In my view, I was a hard worker and an honest person. My endeavors and accomplishments benefited society. I provided employment to others and contributed and paid my taxes.
Despite my training through law school, and my work as an attorney, I failed to accept the perspective of stakeholders that would judge me. Since I wasn’t ready to accept personal responsibility, I failed to take the proper actions to ameliorate my predicament.
Immediately, I found a high-profile attorney who promised to defend me, my reputation, my film career, and my law license.
Like any other person charged with a white-collar crime, I wanted to put this behind me and move on with my life. Yet by not preparing, I made decisions that resulted in a bad outcome—the opposite of what I wanted. As Mike said in the video, I should have made more principled decisions from the start. My decisions led to my downfall.
On the day of my arrest, I sat in the holding cell awaiting my arraignment and bemoaning my fate. I didn’t understand the steps I could start taking to influence a better outcome.
Instead of hiring an expensive attorney, I would have benefited more from watching videos like the one with Mike Berlon. As a former attorney, I identified with his story. Like him, I was a first-time offender. I worked as a professional and felt as if I lived my life as a part of middle-class America. Yet stakeholders in the system judged me for the harm victims suffered and the crimes I committed.
The role and function of both the prosecutors and the Judge in our society make them beholden to the public. They are the gatekeepers of the American judicial system. They have the responsibility of protecting people in society. They did not have any concern for how I felt, or how the sanctions would influence the lives of my family members.
In the video, Mike and Justin discuss the attorney’s responsibility, duty, and performance. Even a good attorney can overlook or disregard details that may portray a defendant in a positive light.
My attorney wanted to persuade the jury of my innocence. He didn’t do anything to show who I am as a person. Once the jury returned a guilty verdict. I needed a different strategy. I didn’t intend to harm anyone. Yet the victims of my actions didn’t care about my intentions. They didn’t have any interest in how I rationalized intent. My response to the accusations would not convince stakeholders to have mercy on me at sentencing. I never addressed the harm caused to my victims.
While I felt contrite for my actions, I did not know how to build a persuasive case that would convince the Judge to show mercy. At sentencing, I focused on my remorse and the harm to me and my family.
Had I known more, I would have prepared differently. My actions caused harm to others. I showed more concern for what a sentence would do to me, and I did not show a plan to make amends or atone.
My lack of understanding and preparation led to a lengthy sentence. This black-and-white perspective never properly prepared me to demonstrate my remorse. In fact, at my sentencing, I received the highest sentence in my guideline range, and the judge immediately remanded me into custody.
I wish I had been better prepared for my sentencing. Watching this video would have given me a greater understanding of the process. I would have known how the Judge viewed defendants like me. The concern of the Judge centered on the victims. My attitude before the Judge should have focused on the impact my action had on the victims.
Watching this video is a positive step in making sure you have the proper perspective in preparing for your sentencing.
